King Douche

Dane Cook is a giant douche whose very existence is nauseating. Ok sorry, I just saw a commercial for Good Luck Chuck and had to get that out of my system. Take a look at this dude instead. Cheers.

Money Can't Buy Taste

Mr. Blackwell's annual Best and Worst Dressed Lists are out, and the Worst this year is Posh Spice herself, Victoria Beckham. That makes her a winner, because if you ask me, people only care about the Worst Dressed. The Best list is usually one giant snoozefest. Any list Katie Holmes makes is about as exciting as a Freddie Prinze, Jr. film festival.

To be fair, Posh would probably be taken off the list if she'd get those silicone tumors she calls breasts removed.

Ripped From The Headlines

In keeping with the Law & Order commentary, I think I've figured out why I can't get enough of the Britney news. This whole child custody/substance abuse/mental illness is like the longest "Ripped From The Headlines" episode of Law & Order: SVU ever. I swear all you need is Ice-T and the "ching-ching!"

Watch This: Law & Order

I don't know if I'm just in withdrawal from the writers' strike, but the new Law and Order is pretty damn good. Usually SVU is the only one that keeps my interest, but the new cast members have really breathed new life into the show. That hot piece Jeremy Sisto (for those of you from my generation, Elton from Clueless) is one of the new detectives, and its nice to see they broke with the formula of always having a detective that's five minutes away from a heart attack or retirement, whichever comes first. The new A.D.A. is also younger and rebellious, having an almost father-son chemistry with Sam Waterston. Waterston, whose character Jack McCoy was promoted to District Attorney, replaced windbag presidential candidate Fred Thompson. Speaking of which, Fred Thompson is only 65?!! I figured him well into his mid-70s.