According to various questionable news outlets, Lindsay Lohan has failed a drug test given by staff at Cirque Lodge, the rehab facility in Utah where she is currently receiving "treatment." Sources also report she was caught having sex with a male patient in a toilet stall (Whether this was Larry Craig I can neither confirm nor deny).
Man, this girl is a bullet train. If her work ethic was half as mighty as her determination to party, she would have three Academy Awards by now. Maybe even a Grammy. At this point, only death can stop her. Even in that case, I have my doubts. I could totally see her pulling a Weekend At Bernie's, with Paris and Nicole propping her up in front of her favorite table at Les Deux, and when Samantha Ronson spins some tunes, she magically comes alive again to take another shot and snort another line.
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